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Singing Sense

…where Performance meets Psychology

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Singing Sense

Singing Sense

…where Performance meets Psychology

  • Home
  • About
  • Work with me
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  • Blog
  • Contact

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  • It’s #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek, and I wanted to share a few thoughts about “Instagram Therapy” & Self-healing I have been carrying around for a while… I am normally one to say “choose the good stuff and leave behind what doesn’t serve you”. This also applies to self-help. I’m always happy if people grow and feel that someone’s content is getting them on that track. At the same time, I’d like to urge people to stay critical of what they are reading (this includes this post btw), because I spot a worrying trend in parts of the Insta therapy- and self-help world to move into a very ableist direction that isn’t #traumainformed. Yes, you have responsibility. Yes, you can learn to hold yourself accountable. Yes, you can learn to accept your emotions and thoughts for what they are and still act in a way that will move you forward. Yes, you can choose to work on yourself - with or without professional help. In short: Yes, you have agency in your own healing journey. HOWEVER, when I read that we are responsible for EVERYTHING that happens or doesn’t happen in our lives, it makes me feel REALLY uncomfortable. There’s a BIG difference between saying “You are responsible for your own actions”and “You are responsible for everything that does or doesn’t happen in your life”. This has nothing to do with a victim mindset, but everything with recognising that trauma, injustice and power differentials won’t magically go away if we as individuals only “do the work” to heal ourselves. That is a very egocentric view btw, and it raises a lot of questions and red flags for me. If we say that “it’s only the stories we tell ourselves that create suffering”, we *might* help someone who is already relatively safe. We might also help someone in the context of a therapeutic relationship because we KNOW THEIR HISTORY, and there is SAFETY AND CONTAINMENT IN PLACE - it’s the very essence of having a trusting, non-judgmental relationship with your therapist, or being in a safe group with support. Don’t miss out on the most important tenets of healing: Having REAL LIFE support and not doing it alone...
  • This is so interesting: An interactive map about #emotions recognised in #vocal bursts... As some of you know, I am very fond of using Plutchik's wheel of emotions in #voicelessons, and this somewhat combines the wheel with actual vocalisations. I love this stuff, and it works for a million reasons! I even wrote a very brief #blog post about it a while ago, now updated with this link (you can find it in the comments/bio). Who else gets stupidly excited about this stuff? 🙋🏻‍♀️ #singing #singers #performers #singersongwriters #singinglessons #vocalcoaching #vocalcoach #onlinesinginglessons #performance #vocals #voicelesson #knowyourvoice #performanceanxiety #performancepsychology #performancecoaching #mind #mindset #mindsetcoaching #musicianmindset #mindfulmusician #bulletproofmusician #singingsense
  • So excited to present at this conference in April #worldvoiceday I will talk about narratives of distress and #transformation in midlife, and how we can adjust to (menopausal, but also general) change with self-compassion and grace. The line-up of speakers is wonderful, so if you are a singer in midlife, or work with female singers in this age-group, please join us. Posted @withregram • @singingthruchange First international conference for women singing in midlife, menopause and beyond. Check website for list of presenters, over 14 hours of content at early bird pricing of $125.00. All content available through end of 2021 for registrants. Link in bio or go to celebratesinging.live. .....#menopauseandsinging #singingand menopause #singingthruchange #singingthroughchange #menopause #perimenopause #vocalpedagogy #singingconference #virtualconferences2021 #hormonesandsinging #midlifewomen #aginggracefully #slps #singingvoicespecialist #vocalcoaches #choral #choir #choirpractice #choraldirectorsofinstagram #musicdirectors #churchchoir #sweetadelines #womenschorus #vocal #vocalcoaches
  • What we feel is often a completely normal response to stress. Not everything is rooted in childhood experiences. The way we process thoughts & feelings can be though. Here’s the story of a 7 year old who had just received a violin for her birthday. Her family didn’t have much money, so getting one, and lessons, was a big deal. One day, when she hadn’t refined the skill of tuning her instrument yet, she snapped a string. She thought she’d broken her precious violin, and she worried about telling her parents. Being a latchkey kid, she strapped her violin case to her bike and cycled down to her local music store to ask for help (she didn’t even have money on her btw). What she didn’t think of was that one of her parents changed buses right around that area on their way home from work. Of course she ran into them x. Back at home: a cascade of overreactions and non-reactions (the latter from her other parent, who preferred not to get involved). Today, she knows that her parent was both mentally and physically unwell at the time, and that they were worried about her in their own way. Back then though, the words used were “lying” and “disappointed”. The 7 year old saw her main fear confirmed: That it wasn’t safe to confide in someone, that no matter how hard she tried to explain, she was “lying”. That *she* was a disappointment (as opposed to someone being disappointed she hadn’t confided in them). Emotion regulation is co-regulation to a great extent. It is about safety, and as a social species, we first and foremost look to other humans for this. If a child doesn’t have a safe adult to help them learn to regulate their emotions, it will affect their emotion regulation as adults. And this also affects their resilience, and the way they (re)act - be it to “everyday stuff” or in crisis. As you have undoubtedly guessed, the 7 year old was me. Does it still feel scary to confide in other people? Yes. Do I sometimes still worry about “being a disappointment”? Yes. However, do I also know that this is a narrative I can choose to rewrite by my (re)actions, even if those thoughts and feelings come up? You bet. Right here with you in rewriting your story 💙
  • It’s hard to slow down between being thrown into being your child’s teacher and running a business. It’s hard to prioritise #selfcare when hours have been taken out of your day that used to be “yours”. But then you have moments of clarity, knowing that you have always been your child’s primary educator (simply by being a parent), and that you always will be - no matter if you get every worksheet done. That nothing is gained by trying to do it all, and that #slowingdown will ultimately get you where you need to be faster (no pun intended). So you find the little moments of #tranquility, and you keep going. #Parents, I see you. It’s hard, and you’re doing great - and so are your kids...
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